The Time of the Mowing

Lo, there shall come a time, after the paying of taxes,
When a man must leave his family, and go forth
To cut the grasses of his yard. By the sweat of his brow,
He will push the fearsome gas-powered reaper
Until his lawn is more pleasing to the eye
Than the lawn of the slack-jawed neighbor,
A heathen who lets the grass grow wild.

The good grasses the man will only cut shorter
But the evil grasses, called weeds, he shall tear
From the earth, using vile words against
The wicked neighbor, who lies about his golf score,
And lets the weeds flourish and spread into other yards.
For the weeds are cursed abominations upon the lawn
And cause the man much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Each week shall the man tend his yard
Which shall be known across the subdivision
As a symbol of righteousness
And a blessing to the property values.
But the yard of the lazy neighbor, a bonehead,
Will be reviled as a trashy eyesore
And a place for the animals to leave their excrement.